Colorblind
by Hope You Will Always Stay
Summary: He wore a black leather bracelet around his wrist, covering up the symbols that spelled Ivan in a foreign language. Alfred was past hope, past mourning, past anger. He was content to his world of black and white, content to his world of bitterness and anger and being alone. Because when your soul mate is dead, what other choice do you have?
1. The Symbols That Spell Ivan

**_Chapter 1: The Symbols That Spell Ivan_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia._**

* * *

 _Everything was blue_  
 _His pills, his hands, his jeans_  
 _And now I'm covered in the colors_  
 _Pulled apart at the seams_  
 _And it's blue_  
 _And it's blue_

 _Everything is grey_  
 _His hair, his smoke, his dreams_  
 _And now he's so devoid of color_  
 _He don't know what it means_  
 _And he's blue_  
 _And he's blue_

~Colors, Halsey

* * *

Everyone is born seeing in greyscale with a name printed on their wrist and hopes planted in their minds. Hopes of falling into their soul mates arms, of an epic romance and beautiful love, and just general greatness. All you had to do was look into their eyes and boom! The world lights up in some magical light and the name on your wrist burns a bit and glows majestically and the next thing you know your set for life. For some who met their soul mates at a younger age, they didn't have to worry about middle school crushes or high school relationships. I mean, when a person is literally hand crafted by the universe for you, why would you need anyone else?

In Alfred's opinion it was all bullshit.

When he was younger he didn't notice the differences between the name on his wrist and those on the other kids. He didn't notice his parents concerned talks or the teachers worried glances. In his homeroom, where all the kids classes took place, they didn't have the chance to meet the other kids. It was deemed unsafe to meet your soul mate before the 8th grade, so for the children who had theirs in the same school they were kept apart until then by the teachers and parents. Once the first day of 8th grade came, though, a surprising amount of kids met the person they'd spend the rest of their life with. Alfred never asked his parents unlike the other kids, he just _knew_ his soul mate was in another class with nothing but a door separating them. That's how his parents were, after all. They met the last year of middle school when the classes were merged and, by the time they were both through with college, Alfred's mom was with child and his father was on his way to becoming a doctor.

Of course that's how it would be for Alfred too. He just knew his fairytale would come true and he'd meet the girl of his dreams.

However, when fourteen year old Alfred rushed into school that morning and ran around amongst the flurry of kids, he felt and sinking feeling in his gut. As a hundred boys and girls passed each other, trying to get a good look at every single person before their classes began, he knew his hopes would be dashed. As some couples embraced, happy and relieved to find their fated one, others were left disappointed but still hopeful. They had the rest of this year and then high school, after all. Maybe a transfer student would come, or maybe they'd meet their soul mate in college. There were so many opportunities and they were willing to wait with hope in their hearts.

As he sat in his classes though, the American teen noticed something that put a wrench in his gut. Every other name on every other kids wrist was written in English. Plain, simple English letters that varied in size and boldness depending on who had met their soul mate at that point, but they were all English. Arthur had the name _Francis_ printed on his wrist, and he had met the boy with _Arthur_ printed on his wrists just minutes before. Matthew, Alfred's own twin, wasn't as lucky. The name _Gilbert_ was scrawled across his wrist thinly, as he had yet to meet his chosen mate at that point. Feliciano was also unlucky, the mysterious man called _Ludwig_ was not in their class either. At least, though, they could understand and pronounce the names inked into their bodies.

Alfred, though, had not one clue how to pronounce _Иван_. The strange symbols sat nicely on his wrist, a glaring beacon showing he was different.

That night, after he asked his mother and was generously reassured that he was in fact normal, an apprehensive Alfred decided to simply wait. His soul mate would come and he would join the world of color. He knew it.

As high school rolled around, many transfer students from other schools and even other _countries_ poured in as some students left. Off to continue their journey in life, the tug in their gut telling them where to go. Alfred didn't have that tug, and he hope that meant it was because _Иван_ was on his or her way to find him. That was not the case, though, as even when the Beilschmidt brothers transferred from Germany and swept Matthew and Feliciano off their feet, his mysterious partner was still missing. The four years dragged on and, by his senior year, he and sparse other students had yet to meet their mates. Only he and a few other boys and girls were left hanging, but at least they felt a tug in their abdomen that told them their love was waiting. Alfred had nothing.

Way back in his Freshman year he'd took Russian as his foreign language, as that's the language the name on his wrist was written in, and he knew the one he waited for was named Ivan. But he had no tug, no happy or sad feeling, no nothing. He was trapped in a world of grey with a foreign name on his wrist and by the time he graduated he was giving up hope.

The first day of college, Alfred wore a leather bracelet that covered the Russian name.

His parents had taken his to doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, and they tried to fight the blatant truth that was being thrown in their face. Alfred felt nothing, no longing for his soul mate and no tug in his heart or abdomen, because his soul mate was dead. Dead, no longer breathing, ripped from Alfred's grasp before the American ever had a chance to get to know his. So Alfred mourned for a time, mourned for this mysterious Ivan who was made for him. Mourned for his lost unknown love. Mourned for his future that would never, _could_ never, happen.

Eventually, though, he got angry. Angry at Ivan. Angry at whoever took Ivan away. Angry because he _would_ never get that happy, fairytale ending. That bright light at the end of the tunnel. That joy and love and feeling of hope when his soul mate entered his world. He'd never experience the rush of color as the scenery around him lit up. He was angry at Ivan for whatever he did to get killed, he was angry at whoever had the gall to kill the Russian boy before he ever had a chance, and he was angry at the universe for playing one big fucking cosmic joke on him.

Because, to Alfred, soul mates were bullshit. Soul mates were the biggest piece of bullshit he'd ever heard of because didn't society say his happiness was guaranteed? That his future was filled his color and love and not black and white and bitterness and anger?

So Alfred wore a black leather bracelet around his wrist and no one asked the young man about it. After all, who would cover up their soul mark unless something horribly tragic had happened?

* * *

 _ **A/N: You all think I'm shitting with you and that Ivan is actually alive and waiting for Alfred and that Alfred is gonna be all happy and leap into his arms? Don't you?**_

 _ **Aw, you poor babies. Y'all got another thing coming.**_

 _ **Question of the Chapter: Am I going to be a heartless bitch? Is Ivan alive? Will Alfred love him if he IS alive?**_


	2. Love Can Be Reborn

**_Chapter 2: Love Can Be Reborn_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia._**

 ** _A/N: DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO DESCRIBE A SETTING IN THE POV OF A COLOR BLIND PERSON I SWEAR TO GOD I KEPT TRYIN TO THROW COLOR WORDS IN AND THEN IM LIKE WAIT NO FUCK. IT IS NOT EASY IM JUST SO._**

* * *

 _You can coax the cold right out of me_  
 _Drape me in your warmth_  
 _The rapture in the dark puts me at ease_  
 _The blind eye of the storm_  
 _Let's go for a walk down Easy Street_  
 _Where you can be reborn_

~BITE, Troye Sivan

* * *

Trudging down the streets with a laptop in his backpack, Alfred was on his way to a cozy café downtown to work on his project for Experimental Physics. The teacher had all but thrown the rubric at them and told them to run with it right before Christmas break and Alfred was generally stressing out. The twenty two year old college junior now had more important things to think about than deceased soul mates, though it always loomed over Alfred's head. Now, he was too worried about how in the hell he was going to get his Mechanical Engineering degree. Don't be mistaken, he was still very much bitter, but he was starting to realize that wouldn't help him. He'd rather be an angry and bitter millionaire than an angry and bitter hobo.

He walked down the sidewalks of New York, snow crunching under his shoes as he watched the world around him wake up from the holidays of December an get roughly shoved back into the usual stressful life. People began to remove lights and take down trees and wreaths and complain about how school and work would begin soon. Alfred himself had just returned from Virginia where he'd gone home to visit with his parents and brother, who had stayed at home with his now-husband Gilbert where they both went to a local community college. Alfred, unlike them, had fled as soon as he graduated. He wanted to leave, get away, finally not be known as the pathetic boy who had no love.

He had had fun, teased Matthew a lot, gotten a new knitted sweater from his mom and a shit ton of candy and money from his dad and brother. He'd stuffed himself full of home made food while he had the chance and then, come the morning of January first, it had been time to leave. Now he was back in the good ole big apple and his classes resumed in two weeks. Which meant he had to get this dumbass project done _soon_. Sadly, his apartment complex was without proper wifi and that led him down to a tiny little café down the street.

He pushed open the door and was hit with a gust of warm air and the scent of cinnamon and coffee. The little joint was nicely lit, warmth from the heater over head giving the place a homely feeling. It was soothing almost, the cushioned chairs and smooth wooden tables and the smartly painted pictures that hung on the walls. Like a small place of peace amongst the business of New York. Alfred sat his bag down on a table in the corner and walked up to the counter in the front, taking his place in line behind a woman with long curly hair. Clutching his five twenty dollar bill, Alfred decided to splurge and get a donut as well. Sure, he was broke most of the time, but he had gotten Christmas money. He can afford to splurge a little before going back to living off mac and cheese like most college students.

So he got his donut and he got his coffee and he scurried back to his little table in the corner. The scent of French vanilla wafted up to his nose, making his mouth water as he had to hold himself back from gulping down the drink, lest he burn his mouth. It had happened before and honestly he wasn't all that keen for a repeat. As he opened his laptop and searched for the layout in his mess of a home screen, he didn't notice the tall man stand next to his table. Eventually his eyes flickered up to meet the mans, and Alfred blinked in surprise.

He was fairly tall and had quite messy hair, with what looked to be a band aid on his nose that probably covered up a blemish or scar. He wore casual clothes, a jacket with jeans and a t shirt and boots, and with a cup of coffee in his hand he looked effortlessly gorgeous. Which wasn't something Alfred thought about many people, so this guy should _totally_ feel privileged. One thing caught his attention, though.

The guy had a bandana wrapped around his wrist. The wrist where his would mark would be.

This piqued Alfred's curiosity because he had always been the odd one out when it came to covering up his mark. Scrunching his eyebrows up, he watched as the man seemed to flounder with his words for a few minutes before finding his composure. Smiling sheepishly, the man rubbed the back of his head and laughed a bit. Ah, socially awkward. Yeah, Alfred could relate to that. He had a near constant case of foot-in-mouth syndrome.

"Um," The man began, "Would you mind if I sat here maybe? This place is a bit busy and, well..."

Australian. The guy had a _very_ strong accent, a rough but ear pleasing voice to go along with good looks. Now if only he had a brain and Alfred would be in love. Snorting at his own thoughts, he nodded at the Australian man who quickly took his seat next to Alfred. The place was getting busy and almost all tables had some sort of study group at them. Alfred would feel less awkward sitting with one person rather than a group, too.

"What's your name?" Alfred's eyes never left his compute as he began his scavenger hunt for the illusive file

"Jack. Jack Williams. What about you?" The man sipped his coffee, eyes bright though Alfred could not see their color

"Alfred Jones. Nice to meet you!" The American nodded at the Australian man, "You here for the college? Seems to be the biggest tourist attraction in this part of New York."

"Yeah, actually. Studying to be a Zoologist, ya know?"

Alfred raised his eyebrows, "What year are you in?"

"Senior." The man laughed, "It was a hassle but I finally got my parents to agree to ship me to New York and I had my credits transferred to Viewmont. They have one of the best science programs!"

"Yeah, I know. I go there. I'm a junior, going into Engineering. I'll probably see you down at the college, you staying on campus or did you rent a place?" Alfred double clicked the file he finally found, simultaneously munching on his donut

"Oh, small world, huh?" The Aussie snorted, "My mother pitched a fit about me coming over here, there was no way she'd let me stay in a room with a stranger. She got me an apartment downtown. Cheap but, all things considered, pretty nice."

Alfred nodded. He knew what the man meant, inexpensive places were hard to find in New York even if you didn't live in the main cities. A small city like this was pretty pricy still and they weren't close to Manhattan or any of the really horribly priced places. Alfred himself lived down by college itself near the plaza, about half an hour away from the place Jack described.

Jack sighed, looking at his watch, "It seems I've gotta run. My orientation is in an hour and I have to get changed. I'll see you around, yeah?"

Alfred nodded and, surprising himself, smiled as the man turned and walked out the door. He was curious about the Aussie with the bandana wrapped around his wrist.

Unbidden emotion was planted like a seed in his heart, and he didn't even know it.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay so change of pace. Alfred is older, a junior in college, and is a lot less bitter than he was in high school/freshman year of college. He has met Jack, who if you can't tell is Australia, and he likes the guy a bit more than he should as he knows the guy probably has a soul mate back home.**_ _ **Or does he? At this point I'm not sure if I'm gonna let you guys know if Ivan is dead or alive so ;)**_

 _ **Question of the Chapter: Is Ivan dead? Is Jack's soul mate dead? Is that why Jack was so eager to leave Australia despite what he may say? Is Alfie getting a crush? Will it be unrequited?**_


	3. Sometimes It Hurts More

**_Chapter 3: Sometimes It Hurts More_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia._**

 ** _A/N: Jesus I haven't updated this in a LONG time._**

* * *

Growing distance from your explanations  
We're getting deeper in this mess  
Take careful contemplation  
I'd rather be spitting blood  
Than have this silence fuck me up

This separation, time and space between us  
For some revelation  
You didn't even care to discuss  
I'd rather be black and blue  
Than accept that you withdrew

~THE QUIET, Troye Sivan

* * *

Things progressed from there. Alfred found Jack at the college quickly, the guy even shared some of the biology classes that had been mandatory. It was weird, being close to this someone when he'd simply shut people out his entire life. But the Australian was different, because he made Alfred curious. He had a bandana wrapped around his wrist and a certain kind of pain in his eyes and, hell, Alfred didn't even care if this was just a consolation relationship. He didn't know for sure though, until the words left Jack's mouth, and even still Alfred knew he could probably never compete with whoever his Soulmate had been. Maybe a girl with long flowing hair and big, doe eyes or a boy with a roguish grin and a penchant for being sweet. Ivan had died before Alfred even met the guy, so what did he have to compare Jack off of? Nothing.

So he stayed at Jack's apartment, cause it was a hell of a lot nicer than the way Jack made it sound, and they learned about each other and grew together and tried to make things work. They spoke of their childhoods, and maybe a year into their relationship Alfred learned Jack's Soulmate's name. She had been called Emilie, and she had brown hair and hazel eyes and dark skin and a beautiful smile. Despite Alfred not understanding what those colors meant, not knowing what they looked like, Jack said they were gorgeous. She had been amazing in everything she did and she wanted to become a professional musician after she went to college. She played piano and saxophone, and she could really make beautiful songs come to life. She was the light of Jack's life, and she died at the age of 17.

Hearing the wistfulness in his apparent boyfriend's voice made Alfred's chest hurt. Not because Jack missed Emilie, no, he could never fault someone for missing a Soulmate that died too soon into their relationship. No, his chest hurt because he never even got to _meet_ Ivan. He didn't know the Russian man, never would, and he didn't know what that pining felt like. Pining for blue eyes, or red hair, or tanned skin. Pining for features and a personality. After all, how could you want something you never knew? You couldn't.

Alfred felt a bit guilty, nowadays, as he has long since gotten over his bitter nature. He realizes now that Ivan deserved better. He deserved someone who would mourn their whole life for him, not someone who shacked up with the hot Australian down the street. Ivan deserved someone who knew his face, his full name, the color of his eyes and the texture of his hair. He deserved someone who would miss and mourn every detail every waking second. Just as Jack did for Emilie, but he'd said her dying wish for him was to move on. Find another who understood his pain, for he was too young to be saddled with that burden. Alfred wonders what Ivan would say to him, what he would've told him before he died. Would the man be upset he was trying to find another love? Or would he not want his Soulmate to be alone?

The first time they slept together wasn't magical, or beautiful, or any of that other bullshit people tried to cop all the time. It felt good, it was over pretty quick, and it was also the first time Alfred had ever seen Jack's mark. He knew her name, but he had never seen the delicate script that marked Jack's wrist. One thing confused him though; it was faded, or fading. The name that had once been a deep black, like it had been inked into his skin, was now fading into the shade of the man's skin. Disappearing, just as Emilie had. It confused Alfred because, when he took a shower afterwards while Jack slept in their bed, he took his bracelet off and looked at the Russian letters. Still dark as the night, staining his skin like a new tattoo.

It seemed as though his heart had been breaking since the day it was born, but that was the day it shattered. It lay at pieces around his, pricking his feet wherever Alfred was to walk, never repaired and never mended. It would hurt him, and it would hurt Jack too, eventually.

* * *

He was at the park when it happened. Sitting in the fresh air, feeling the sun on his skin, hearing people laugh and talk. It was a relief, especially after the last week. Jack had been increasingly busy with his life and trying to get a job, and Alfred was about to graduate and get his degree. They talked some, or rather yelled, about how everything was going to shit. Questions flew, wondering if this was a long-term relationship or if it was just a fling. It ended with Alfred storming to their bedroom, sitting with his back to the door and pretending not to cry while Jack pleaded with him from the other side.

The thoughts were swirling in his head as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone. He wasn't reading the article he had open, but thinking about his future and his job and Jack and enjoying the feel of the breeze on his skin. All of a sudden the warmth of the sun disappeared, and an icy cold feeling took over his body. It didn't hurt, no, but it was strange. He shivered, looking around and seeing if anyone else noticed. No one had, as they were still rushing around the park in shorts and tank tops. The greyscale of his vision was the same as ever, and Alfred couldn't tell what was so different all of a sudden. Gripping his arms, he noticed the cold was coming from his wrist. That was the coldest part of his body. He tore at his bracelet, the same one he had been wearing since high school, until it snapped. He rubbed at the mark, trying to heat himself some, and he looked up once more to catch a pair of violet eyes.

A man stood there, massive in height and long limbs and general lankiness. He was taller than Alfred could ever hope to be, that's for sure. Ashy blonde hair, flopping into his eyes ever so slightly. Pale skin, a severe contrast to Alfred's deep tan he had gotten from his mother and enhanced by all the days he spent in the sun. Violet eyes were the most prominent feature the man had, big and beautiful and currently the size of dinner plates as the two stared at each other. People around them notice and smiled, whispering and pointing and thinking how cute it was that they got to witness a Soulmate Reuniting. It was adorable, romantic, probably something they would think about for the rest of the day. It was a magical moment, apparently, seeing two people find their destined other half for the first time.

Because...that's what this was, right? Alfred could see now, actually see. He didn't have that shitty version of vision known as greyscale, no, he could see in color now. It had all shifted when he had seen the mans eyes, the bright violet color, and they say the color of your Soulmate's eyes will be the first and last color you ever see. All his life, ever since he was in grade school, he thought the man standing in front of him was dead. Already buried six feet under ground, someone Alfred would ever know or love or even care about. Yet here he was, looking at Alfred like the American was the prettiest thing he had seen all day. Alfred wanted to yell, tell him to take a picture because it'd last longer. He didn't though, because this was his Soulmate and he was expected to go and rush up to the man and kiss him and hug him and profess his undying love to him.

He didn't, though. Alfred F. Jones was a lot of things, and none of them was a cheater. He had a boyfriend, a boyfriend who was the one person capable of making him feel something akin to love. A boyfriend Alfred never, ever wanted to hurt. So he turned on his heel and walked away, ignoring the pain in his heart and the shocked gasps of by standers. Fuck it, Alfred had gone his entire life without Ivan, he could go the rest of it without him too. Because the American might of thought he wasn't bitter anymore, but he was, and deep down he hated Ivan. Hated him for causing Alfred all that pain, and now for waltzing into his life right when Alfred was beginning to be happy.

So when he walked in the door, and Jack looked up with guilty green eyes, and soft pink lips began to for apologies, Alfred grabbed him and pulled him into a deep kiss. It all ended with Alfred on Jack's lap on the couch, the Australian confused and surprised but very happy as he had expected his boyfriend to still be upset. The man still apologized in the afterglow, but Alfred waved him off easily and buried himself deeper into Jack's side.

Because green was a color Alfred could see now, and he decided he liked it much more than violet, anyways.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Oh shit.**_

 _ **Question of the Chapter: So what happens now?**_


	4. Interlude With the Lovers

**_Chapter 4: Interlude With the Lovers_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia._**

 ** _A/N: I swear to God that IDFC by Blackbear if the Jack/Alfred theme song. You can decide who's POV it's from! Let me know what y'all think about it!_**

* * *

 _Cause I have hella feelings for you_  
 _I act like I don't fucking care_  
 _Like they ain't even there_  
 _Cause I have hella feelings for you_  
 _I act like I don't fucking care_  
 _Cause I'm so fucking scared_  
 _I'm only a fool for you_  
 _And maybe you're too good for me_  
 _I'm only a fool for you_  
 _But I don't fucking care at all_

~IDFC, Blackbear

* * *

"I really love you, you know that?"

The sweet words were whispered into Alfred's shoulder, and immediately he felt guilt. He thought of violet eyes and pale skin and ashen blonde hair. He thought of bitterness, and pain, and an upset turned around life that couldn't be fixed. Closing his eyes, he felt the weight of Jack's words on his chest, and he knew the Australian expected him to respond. Eventually, the green eyes man looked up and stared at Alfred with weary eyes, looking like he regretted the words he just said. That was the moment Alfred realized, with the sharp pain in his chest at the thought of Jack _ever_ regretting something like that, what he really felt. Ivan hadn't been there for him the past years, Ivan hadn't held his hand in the park or taken bubble baths with him or done stupid domestic shit like go grocery shopping with him and then carry all the bags in the house because Alfred was 'too precious to have to carry anything'.

This man was a fucking dork, a green eyed adorable dork, and Alfred had never loved someone so much in his entire life. Then again, maybe that was because Jack was the one who taught him what love is.

Alfred felt a smile, not too wide or fake but small and innocent and truthful, spread across his lips, "I love you."

Grass is green, the sky is blue, the sun will come up the next morning, and Alfred loves Jack. Simple as can be, and the most obvious thing in the world.

Jack's eyes lit up like a candle glowing in the dark, not explosive like fireworks, like he imagined Ivan would be, but soft and gentle and just right. Jack maneuvered them around so that he was behind Alfred, holding him in his arms, and Alfred's head was leaned back on Jack's chest. The Australian was the larger of the two, though neither were even near muscular but more slim, despite Alfred's many weight training sessions he underwent in vain. Alfred wondered, briefly, what Ivan's arms would feel like around him, holding him close. Then he remembered the cold of his wrist when their soul bond acted up, and he squashed the thought down. He related Ivan to the cold, and Alfred hated the cold with a passion.

"You know," Jack's voice was right next to his ear, soft and low, "I didn't think I'd ever get over Emilie."

Alfred cringed, his entire body slumping, and he silently prayed Jack didn't notice. Because he was the man he loved talking about how Alfred was the love of his life after he had lost his soulmate, while Alfred had just found his a few weeks ago and still wasn't sure what to do about the situation. He knew the other man would look for him but, fuck, he really never wanted to see Ivan again. He wanted to stay with Jack, in their house, in his boyfriends arms. That's all he wanted, that's all he could have ever wanted. When he was young he thought of his future, a future like this. In this twisted fantasy, though, it's not his universe set meant-to-be holding him, but instead a green eyed wonder who Alfred decided was his meant-to-be. Fuck the universe, Jack was Jack and Jack was all Alfred needed.

The Australian didn't notice the change in Alfred's posture, but kept on talking, "I thought I was going to be alone my whole life. After the grief, and the overwhelming sorrow, I was just kind of left with this feeling of damn my life is going to be a lonely one. I'm sure you can relate."

Sadly. Alfred had spent the first portion of his life alone, and would've continued to be alone if Jack hadn't come into the picture.

"Now I know better. Cause I have you, and I think this is my second chance. our second chance. The universe fucked up, took away our loves too early, and this is their apology. A second soulmate, I think. I know it's unheard of but in the time I've spent with you I've come to love you like I loved her. Hell, I'm sorry if this is too much..."

"No." Alfred shut his eyes, reached to grab one of Jack's hands and grip it tightly, "No, don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry. I think you're right."

He could feel the happiness radiating off his lover, his soulmate, and it was contagious. Because, in all honesty, Alfred did think his boyfriend was right. The universe took Emilie away from Jack to soon, an this was the man's second chance. In Alfred's case, though, the universe had fucked up from the beginning by not putting Jack's name on his wrist and this overwhelming love he felt was just compensation.

"I'm so happy, Al, I'm so _fucking happy_ you're with me."

Alfred smiled widely this time, twisting around so he was sitting right on Jack's lap instead of being held by the man. Smiling, he put his arms around his neck and leaned in, kissing the green eyes man intensely. Pulling back, he laid his head on Jack's shoulder and was content to sit there for the rest of time.

"I'm so happy too. You really don't have any idea."

They stayed there for awhile, holding each other until Alfred began yawning to which Jack took as a sign to head up to their bedroom. Gently nudging Alfred off his lap, he parted with him just long enough to stand before he swept his blonde lover into a bridal style position and began to whisk him away to bed. Any and all protests died on Alfred's lips as he buried his face in Jack's neck and all he could smell was _home_.

* * *

It was going to be their anniversary soon, two years and still going strong Jack boasted proudly. It had only been two months since Alfred had discovered Ivan, but the Russian was the last thing on Alfred's mind. He was about to graduate college, Jack had finally got his dream job after being out of college for a year, and they were celebrating two years since they met in a homey coffee shop in downtown New York. Alfred knew his boyfriend was planning something, he could just tell by the way the other man smiled, but he was content to let the man have his fun. He had to study for finals, and he trusted Jack enough at this point to not ruin his life.

So when, after graduation and Alfred was officially done with college and he had gotten his mastery in Mechanical Engineering, Jack told him to go out to the car and wait he didn't really know what to expect. Eventually his boyfriend came rushing out of the house, flowers in one hand and a wide, goofy grin on his face as he waved the car keys around. He opened the door of Alfred's run down pickup truck, as Jack had still yet to get a vehicle of his own, and plopped down into the drivers seat.

"They were in the sofa cushions!"

"Told you." Alfred rolled his eyes, and switched on the radio as the truck roared to life.

Jack worried his lip a bit before turning down the rock station that Alfred was known to listen to, "I need to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Alfred didn't notice to mood change, raising a confused eyebrow, "What's up?"

"I need to okay today's plans...I mean, it was sudden and a surprise for even me. I didn't really know what we were doing until-!"

"Jack." The American cut his boyfriend off, "As long as you aren't taking me to a shitty pizza place, cause you insisted on me wearing this fuckin' suit, then we're good."

"My parent's came out this month to visit." Jack rushed the words out, "They called and let me know when the plane landed, and then we set something up, but we don't have to go and meet them okay? It's up to you, if you're not comfortable with it then that's fine, you can just tell me-!"

"Shut up." Alfred laughed, smiling widely, "It's been two years, you dumb. Of course I'm chill with meeting your parents. As long as they're not zombies or something I think it's a great idea. Why'd I have to wear a suit though?"

"Because my mum likes fancy Italian restaurants and I didn't want you to look homeless and get kicked out."

"Ah, yeah. That makes sense, I guess."

* * *

The elder couple was waiting in front of their hotel, and Alfred could see that Jack got his looks from his mom. Alfred and Jack both exited the truck, Alfred suddenly pretty self conscious about it and really wishing he hadn't been so lazy last week and had just washed the damn thing, and immediately Jack's mom had her arms around her son as she hugged the life out of him.

"Mom, mom!" Jack's green eyes shined, "I missed you guys so much."

"We missed you too, son." Jack's dad smiled at his child and nodded towards Alfred, "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jones."

About that time, Jack's mom released her son and went straight over to Alfred. He flinched back, not sure what to expect from the woman, but she simply threw her arms around the American the same as she did her son.

"Thank you." She murmured so quietly Alfred could hardly hear her, "You don't know how bad he was, how much you helped him. I can never repay that."

She pulled back and ruffled his hair, green eyes a lot like Jack's shining with unshed tears, and she walked back over to her husband as though she had never said a word. Jack grabbed Alfred by the elbow, tugging him closer to the couple.

"Al, this is my mom Cynthia Williams. That's my dad, Joshua Williams."

"Call me Josh, son." The man with laugh lines around brown eyes nodded, smiling.

"Call me mom, dear." Cynthia smiled, though it looked a bit like a smirk.

Jack simply rolled his eyes, not even blushing, as he checked his watch, "We've got to go. Unless you want to miss reservations, which we are not doing cause it took me calling every day for two damn weeks to get those things."

Alfred was happy, and he was smiling, and he counted this night among one of the best he'd ever experienced. It cemented any fear he had of Jack leaving, and it made him understand just how much he needed his boyfriend, and just how much Jack needed him in return.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I enjoy some good ole Jack/Al fluff every now and then ;)**_

 _ **Question of the Chapter: Did you listen to IDFC by Blackbear? Does it not fit them, especially later on? Also, what do you think of Jack?**_


	5. Don't Challenge the Australian

**_Chapter 5: Don't Challenge the Australian_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia._**

 ** _A/N: It's been a long ass time, but here I am lmao. Also, Overwhelming is Jack's song to Al, I swear to God. Like, IDFC is their general relationship song but Overwhelming is totally how Jack feels about Alfred._**

* * *

 _Yeah, I think I got one_  
 _Her soul is presidential like Barack, son_  
 _Yeah, she call me Goose, I call her Maverick cause of Top Gun_  
 _They say we annoying, they just jealous cause we got love_  
 _Yeah, I got a hot one_  
 _She don't want no problem if there's not one_  
 _But people come around and try some stupid shit and start one_  
 _She give you the people's fuckin' elbow like The Rock, son_

~Overwhelming, Jon Bellion

* * *

Alfred hummed, watching Jack pass the wine list to his mom. Smiling a little as he looked at his boyfriend, really looked at him, Alfred felt warmth run down his spine and felt goosebumps rise on his arms. Lightly tanned skin, just a dusting of gold compared to the deeper tan he had two years ago leftover from Australia when he and Alfred had first met. Emerald green eyes, a band-aid on his nose covering and the old scar that he was still embarrassed about despite the fact that he's had it since he was eight. Brown hair, messy and slightly swooped back though it still managed to fall on his face. Jack turned at that exact moment, catching Alfred in the middle of his admiring, and his lips curled up into that little smile he got whenever his and Alfred's eyes met. Lips curling as well, Alfred unabashedly smiled at Jack like he was the sun to Alfred's earth. Needless to say, Jack's parents saw this and smiled as well.

"So, how is college going for you, Alfred?"

"Good." Alfred finally broke eye contact with his boyfriend and looked at the woman sat in front of him who looked quite a lot like Jack, "I'm getting super close to graduating, then I'm looking to get into a space engineering program."

"Something like NASA?" The woman raised her eyebrows, impressed, "That's very ambitious."

"Heh, well, they're always looking for good engineers. I'm not half bad, I'm in the top two of my class so I'm doing pretty good. My only real competition is Yao, but I'm pretty sure he's transferring back to China after he graduates so there's no way he'd wanna get on at NASA."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck." Cynthia laughed, holding her husband's hand, "Jack, you better call us and tell us when Alfred's graduation is. We can fly over and visit again."

"That'd be awesome, mom!" Jack's face became giddy before falling for a second, "Al...? It is your graduation."

Alfred laughed and rolled his eyes, "Hey, your parents are my parents, right?"

Snorting, Jack shook his head, "You're gonna regret saying that, love."

* * *

Escorting Jack's parents to their rental car, they waved goodbye to the Australian couple before walking the opposite direction to where they'd been forced to park their car a couple blocks down. Glancing down at Jack's hand hanging by his side, and looking very lonely at that, Alfred decided to grab the other man's hand and tugged him forward as Alfred turned and walked backward so he could look at the green-eyed man as he walked.

"Be careful or you'll fall!" Jack laughed, placing his other hand on Alfred's shoulder to steady the American.

"You'll catch me, though." The blonde smiled widely, wider than he had in a while, and for a moment it seemed like Jack forgot to breathe.

"Yeah." The Australian sighed, "Yeah, I will. I always will, babe."

Alfred flushed slightly before turning himself back around but still keeping a hold of Jack's hand. It was a pretty chilly night, not many people roaming around the street. Mrs. Gerrick who ran one of the minimarts around town was walking her dog, and there was a girl with platinum blonde hair and chilly indigo eyes who was walking directly towards them. Jack moved over slightly, rolling his eyes and murmuring about how rude people in the city war. No one else on the sidewalk, yet she walked right down the middle of it with a purpose that was a bit too cocky for Alfred's tastes. Careful not to bump into her, Alfred was ready to get into their warm car because they were almost to the lot they parked in when he felt a slim hand encase his upper bicep and suddenly, taken off guard, he was pulled away from Jack violently.

"What?" Jack whipped his head around as Alfred tore his hand from him, only to drop his car keys when he saw the woman holding Alfred tightly by the arm.

"Who the hell are you?" Alfred spat, trying to get her tight grip off, "Listen, I don't wanna hit a girl but-!"

"I am Natalya Braginsky, you know my brother, _da_?"

She had a thick Russian accent, and Alfred's blood ran cold. His mind shut down, going into panic mode and all he knew was he needed to shut her up, she needed to stop talking, _he had to shut her up._ Trying harder than before, he shook his arm loose from her clawed grip but stopped when he felt cold metal against his back. In her petite hands was none other than a small knife, and Alfred weighed his options. He could stop and let her keep talking and save himself a lot of pain, or he could suck it up and save his relationship but get stabbed in the process. He was about to rear around and shove her away, taking a stab to the arm or chest as he knew it wouldn't be too bad with such a small blade, he prepared to act when suddenly the metal was gone and so was the girl.

Turning, Alfred saw the woman on the ground, scowling, her dress fanned out around her and her knife laying several feet away from her. There was a spot on her jaw, a red splotch, and when he saw Jack standing behind him he knew what had happened. Jack grabbed him quickly before anything else could happen and the next thing Alfred knew, he was sitting dazed in a car as they sped down the highway.

"Damn, you okay Al?" Jack sent him a concerned look, green eyes shimmering with worry, "Muggers sure are getting desperate, that wasn't much of a knife, huh?"

Sighing in relief, Alfred wanted to laugh that he'd managed to get out of there without Jack hearing anything to the woman had said about being Ivan's sister. Instead, he just looked at Jack, ever perfect Jack, and smiled dumbly, "Your eyes are pretty."

Looking at him, clearly confused, Jack let out a huffy little laugh, "I think you're a bit dazed, hun, we might wanna hurry and get you home."

But he wasn't dazed, and he wasn't lying; Jack's eyes were the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Later that night, when Jack insisted on helping him to the bedroom, Alfred settled nicely beside his boyfriend and enjoyed the heavy weight of Jack's arm across his waist. This was the man he'd take a knife for, just to save him heartbreak. The American frowned slightly, making his decision as he slipped out of the bed and padded quietly over to the bathroom. Jack would never know about Ivan, would never hear the Russian man's name even breathed towards him. He would never know Ivan was Alfred's soulmate, or that Ivan was alive. Pursing his lips as he stared in the mirror before looking down at his wrist, he removed the bracelet one last time to look at the mark sadly.

What if Ivan had been the one to find him at a coffee shop two years back? Would he be having dinner with the Russian's parents and his weird-ass sister, would he not be so bitter or resentful, or would he be even more because frankly, Alfred wasn't certain Ivan would stand a chance at cracking the shell around his heart the way Jack did. Not allowing himself to dwell over what if's any longer, Alfred tied his bracelet tighter across his wrist and was content to never remove it again.

"You okay?"

Startling, Alfred turned to look at Jack, who'd woken up when Alfred's warm heat had disappeared from their bed. Frowning, the Australian moved forward and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, sending a slight glance down at the blonde's wrist, "Is it about...?"

Alfred swallowed and, despite everything, couldn't find the will to lie, "I guess."

The American had never even told his boyfriend the name of his soulmate. Jack had never asked, he wanted Alfred to open up to him on his own and not feel forced or rushed. Swallowing, Jack placed an arm around Alfred's shoulder and pulled him in close for a one armed hug, "I'm here if you need me."

"I know."

Jack sighed, "Al, you know you can tell me anything. What's bugging you?"

Those green eyes stared him down intensely, making Alfred squirm as he pulled away from the hug, "What do you do when you're expected to love someone but you don't even want them in your life?"

His boyfriend stilled immediately, once more sending a confused glance down at Alfred's wrist, "I-I don't know, Al. Never really had that problem."

The blonde shuddered slightly, looking up with sad blue eyes, "You love me, right?"

"You already know." Jack rolled his eyes

"You wouldn't leave me if...if...I don't know. Hell, things are so messed up and I don't know what to do anymore."

Sighing, Jack smiled down at his lover, "I wouldn't leave you for the word, babe. Not even if your soulmate crawled out of their grave and demanded it. I'll always be here."

Calming significantly at those words, Jack figured Alfred was just having a self-conscious moment. It wasn't uncommon for non-soulmate relationships to fall apart because of the scrutiny and shame society placed upon them. However, the Australian was in for the long haul, he had decided that two years ago when he dived headfirst into Alfred's ocean blue eyes, and he was quite determined. Alfred hugged him tightly, and Jack leaned down to place a kiss on his neck, causing the American to squirm in his arms them tug him towards their bed. As Jack fell on top of Alfred, lips pressed together and teeth clashing to their smiles, the green eyes man knew there was no place he'd rather be.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Fuck I love these two.**_

 _ **Question of the Chapter: Did you listen to IDFC by Blackbear? Does it not fit them, especially later on? Also, what do you think of Jack?**_


End file.
